Kids or youth?

Kids or youth?

In our field there has been an on-going discussion around how we refer to those people who use our services. In the late eighties and early nineties there was a move toward using the word client to describe all persons who utilized services in children and family mental health settings. The same can be said for much of the healthcare industry. There was a clinical connotation to this word and it accurately described someone who utilized a service. While the word client permeated clinical reports and formal settings, it did not necessarily become accepted by many child and youth workers in their day to day interactions and discussions.

There were a few different camps when it came to the language we used. Some workers felt that clients aged 6-12 years old should be referred to as children. Adolescent clients were youth or young persons. Youth was defined as someone in the 18-24 year old bracket. I always said kids. Of course this was only in casual settings but I have found myself using the word kids more often than not in formal meetings and discussions. More than once I have been reminded that we serve youth, not kids; but do we?

Here is why I say kids. For me personally, I have kids. Yes, I may have called them children at some point, but they are my kids. Kids has a humanizing effect for me. The word kids evokes a higher level of empathy. There is vulnerability inherent in the word kids. The people who use our services are not a statistic or a cold file defined by a case or ID number. They are a person who is vulnerable and who is deserving of our empathy. Often times they mask their insecurity and vulnerability with bravado and a quick wit or confident swagger. Look beyond that outward shell and I see a kid who is in need. In need of someone who cares, for a warm and dry place to stay, in need of a good meal, in need of being safe. If you hear me refer to someone as a kid, please know that I have done so in a thoughtful way. Of course you are always welcome to correct me.

Us and Them

Us and Them

Although many of us would like to believe otherwise, how we think of someone else impacts how we not only respond to them but also how we judge someone after the fact, and apply a narrative for the future.  When we misjudge or prejudge other people, the risk is that we soon put those persons into the ‘Them’ category, while the people who judges put themselves into the ‘Us’ category.  Thus we enter into the danger of Us and Them.

Us and Them is dangerous as it encourages blanket statements which are usually quite negative to the Them and positive to the Us.  There is a dehumanizing aspect to Them.  This makes people feel better since they aren’t burdened by empathy, which could likely implore someone to act.  Not acting can evoke guilty feelings that are uncomfortable.  Instead, too often we strive for comfort and this can lead to being dismissive to the plight of others.  The other strategy often employed is to attach a value statement to the Them.  To see Them as being the author of their own misfortune allows us to once again distance ourselves from empathy.  We group the Them into convenient packages – and socially constructed spaces.

My challenge to everyone is to change how you view others in a way which humanizes and individualizes Them.  Putting homeless youth in the same space as Us is the most basic change that can do so much good.  In this space you are thinking of homeless youth as good people having a hard time.  The stereotypes and social construct around youth homelessness are simply untrue.  Challenge those stereotypes when you hear them.  Even more importantly, challenge yourself should they enter in your head.

S. Doherty

YWS 30th Anniversary Series

YWS 30th Anniversary Series

Over the past 30 weeks, we have embarked on a journey through the lenses of youth who have called Youth Without Shelter (YWS) home and their path to success. These powerful stories of resiliency, empowerment and achievements continue to guide us to provide support and care in working towards breaking the cycle of youth homelessness.

Young people often feel silenced by the labels, stereotypes, and assumptions made by society about homelessness and street life. Their voices can often become lost amid the statistics and stigma associated around “poverty” and “homelessness”.

Even though the series has concluded – let us not forget to listen, empower, and continue the fight to end homelessness.. one youth at a time.

Read our full series below:

Story 1 – Rayshell: The race is not for the swift but for those who endure to the end.

Story 2 – Melony: They became my best friends, helped me with anything I needed.

Story 3 – Sean: I was 16 years old, scared and full of anger. I never felt so alone.

Story 4 – Dammy: It is not easy to be on your own, not easy to be a man.

Story 5 – Art: I knew my father was a troubled man.  He would beat me up for silly reasons.

Story 6 – Stephanie: I am more determined to reach my goals and also more confident in myself that I will get to brighter days.

Story 7 – Siobhan: Life is like a coin, you can spend it however you want but you can only spend it once.

Story 8 – John: My mission is to help others create an impact and leave a legacy that inspires generations to come.

Story 9 – Georgiette: Loneliness encouraged me to build confidence, being neglected showed me how to love.

Story 10 –  He “You helped me when I needed help and became my family when I had no family.”

Story 11 – Jay: “For the first time his feelings were being respected.”

Story 12 –  Mike “You’ve given me hope.”  

Story 13 – Tom*: Wanting a place to call his own, he camped out in parks.

Story 14 – Winona: No one had any idea where I worked that I was homeless.

Story 15 – Matt: Struggling with drug and alcohol problems and dealing with the recent loss of my mother.  I was on a path of self-destruction.

Story 16 – Angelina: We can change and fix ourselves.

Story 17 –  Misery: I just want to be the one that’s chosen.

Story 18 – Derek: If you believe you can do something, you can!

Story 19 – Tracey & Nichole: I was able to accomplish more than what I believed I could.

Story 20 – Thank you

Story 21 – Marianne: You never judged me.

Story 22 –  George: I’ve found the resources I need to be able to focus on finishing school.

Story 23 – Nancy: Many small donations can make a difference.

Story 24 – Liceie: Giving back  

Story 25 – Anonymous

Story 26 – “Listen”

Story 27 – Robert

Story 28 –  John R: We must believe in our youth

Story 29 –  R: I was scared and did not know anyone to help me feel better

 

YWS 30th anniversary series: R

YWS 30th anniversary series: R

My name is R. I have been residing at Youth Without Shelter for 3 months. Prior to arriving, I was scared and did not know anyone to help me feel better. Regardless of these feelings I had no choice to become a resident of Youth Without Shelter.

The first friend I made at YWS turned out to be my room mate. She also arrived the same day as me and was so friendly I felt better about my situation. The staff helped me feel at ease through their counselling support. Frontline staff were always available to listen to me and guide me through family problems and relationships.

I know I can count on them to give me all available options so that I can make informed decisions about my future. Being at YWS I always feel safe as staff have continued to show me how responsible and careful they are about the safety of residents. Case managers have been very supportive in helping me register for school; transfer to work closer to the shelter as well as providing me with future housing options.

It is hard to believe how my life has changed and improved for the better in such a short amount of time. I entered YWS not knowing what to expect and am now enrolled in school and employed. I am currently in grade 12 and am attending an adult education school. Next year I am striving to be in a college Child and Youth Care Worker Program. My dream job is to help youth and make a difference in their lives the same way staff at YWS have helped me.

It’s been a good experience living at YWS and I will always be grateful that I became part of it. Thank you to YWS for providing me with a home away from home.

As shared by R. at YWS’s Annual General Meeting, September 2014

YWS 30th anniversary series: John R

YWS 30th anniversary series: John R

John Roberts is living proof that hard luck stories can have happy endings.

The St. John’s, Newfoundland contractor sponsors children’s hockey and soccer leagues, is a member of the business establishment and is the father of three children.

He is also a former street kid. At 16, he was kicked out of the house. “You ever see the movie, Rebel Without A Cause? That was me.” Roberts, 41 says with a laugh during an interview. The teenager hitchhiked to Toronto in 1986 and was found by police sleeping under a bridge on Keele Street. That was his lucky day. They took him to the newly opened Youth Without Shelter in Etobicoke. He landed a job and stayed at the shelter until he’d saved enough to rent a little place of his own.

Ultimately, he returned to his hometown and opened his business, John The Trimmer, which does more than $1 million worth of business a year building and renovating houses.

“We must believe in our youth”., says Roberts, who brought his family to Ontario this past summer on a vacation and went back to Youth Without Shelter to express his gratitude – even if the individuals he knew no longer worked there.

“I am a businessman who can help others and I owe it to the.”, he says of the shelter staff who had given him so much support. “People say to me that I am self-made. I say, No a lot of people helped me along the way.”

Credit: Trish Crawford, Toronto Star (Living Section), December 22, 2007

Update note: in 2011 John Robert’s flew to Toronto, and attended YWS’s 25th anniversary recognition event. He spoke passionately about his experiences with homelessness and inspired the youth present with possibilities.

YWS 30th anniversary series: Robert

YWS 30th anniversary series: Robert

Robert’s mother was a sex trade worker and struggled with a crack addiction. He had never known his father. At eight years of age Robert ran away with his sister. Children’s Aid stepped in to provide assistance. Robert has been on his own since he left his adoptive parents home at 16. Independence has been Robert’s goal. He has always had work and maintained his own housing. A summer flash flood washed him out of his rental apartment. Subsequently his apartment was beyond repair. With no savings and no alternatives he landed at Youth Without Shelter (YWS) in the emergency residence. Robert was working full-time in the restaurant industry. As part of his YWS case plan the YWS Employment Specialist worked with Robert to explore opportunities for advancement into a restaurant management role. At the same time the YWS Housing Coordinator connected Robert with supportive youth housing where he can save some money for the future while being employed. At YWS Robert took the next essential steps to living independently and focused on getting his life back in order.

YWS 30th anniversary series: “Listen”

YWS 30th anniversary series: “Listen”

Many of our youth share their stories through various artistic mediums. Below, a poem written and narrated by our youth called “Listen”.

30thanniversarystory26

 

 

YWS 30th anniversary series: Liceie

YWS 30th anniversary series: Liceie

It is hard to imagine the struggles, fears and loneliness one might feel being in a strange country and having no one. As hard as it may be to imagine, it is a situation that occurred to a young seventeen year old girl named Liceie. She came to Canada for the summer as a visitor, never suspecting that she would be held against her will by a relative who would become abusive and steal her only means of returning home.

Liceie was brought to Youth Without Shelter (YWS) after she phoned the police from a neighbour’s house where she had run to escape physical abuse by her aunt. When she arrived at the shelter she was afraid and had no idea what was to happen to her next. She had never been in a shelter, let alone one in a foreign country. The police informed her that they would try to retrieve her stolen passport and plane ticket which were believed to be held by her aunt.

The workers at YWS quickly began working with Liceie to calm her fears and make her feel more at home. The housing worker immediately met with her to see what could be done to assist her in returning to her home country of St. Vincent. In attempting to acquire travel documents for her the Consulate of St. Vincent informed the housing worker that, given the situation, they would issue her new documents for her travel home if her original ones were not retrieved.

Liceie was escorted by YWS to a meeting with Project Go Home to see if they would be able to fund Liceie’s trip back to St. Vincent. They were indeed able to help her and now, because of the meaningful connections made by YWS, Liceie had YWS, Project Go Home, the O.P.P. and the Consulate of St. Vincent all working to resolve her dilemma.

Meanwhile, Liceie was attending the Life Skills Program sessions at YWS, making new friends and getting used to the routine at the shelter. YWS provided her with warm clothing as all she had with her was a small summer wardrobe. She made calls to her mother in St. Vincent to let her know that she was safe and keep her up to date on the help she was receiving to go home. The YWS housing worker was able to help her through every step of the process by spending hours on the phone with the O.P.P., Project Go Home and the Consulate of St. Vincent, and attending all the appointments with her.

That November, two weeks to the day Liceie was brought to YWS by the police, she was on a flight back home to her mother. Liceie was grateful for everything that had been done for her and although she had nothing to give, she showed her gratitude by making bead bracelets in our Life Skills Program for the strangers she had found safety and security with.

YWS 2007

YWS 30th anniversary series: Nancy

YWS 30th anniversary series: Nancy

Stories are often shared over meals at Youth Without Shelter (YWS). Nancy called YWS to arrange a date for a team of volunteers from her church to provide and serve a “home cooked” meal to YWS’s 50 youth. While visiting the shelter Nancy was asked how she learned about YWS. Well, YWS had been her “home” several years ago. For many years, Nancy never shared that she had any contact with a shelter, let alone had lived in one. But now she has begun to open up, firmly believing that her experience can help others.

Family circumstances were such that Nancy had no choice but to strike out on her own as a teen. For a time she tried balancing living on her own with staying in school. Nancy dreamed of becoming a nurse and was enrolled in a college nursing program. But she simply could not afford rent, and lost her housing. It was a social worker who told Nancy about a newly opened program called the Stay in School Program (SIS) at Youth Without Shelter.

Looking back, Nancy says that coming to YWS was like being welcomed into a “home”. The youth and staff team became her family. “The computer lab, the school supplies, space to study, all of those vital supports helped me stay in school.” Nancy finished the nursing program and graduated with honours. “If I had not come to YWS I would not be a graduate. I would have dropped out.”

Today, Nancy works full-time as a public health nurse specializing in healthy food and nutrition education with youth ages 5 through 18. She is settled with a family of her own. Nancy’s church community is a big part of her life – and it is there that Nancy shares her life journey with young women.

“I am the impact of donations to the shelter. What I have achieved would not have been possible without all those who support YWS. If I a former resident of YWS can come back and give, than any one can give. It does not have to be a big donation, many small donations can make a difference.”

You can hear Nancy share her story here.