YWS 30th anniversary series: Marianne

YWS 30th anniversary series: Marianne

“Homelessness happens. When I walk through the doors in my high school you can’t tell I live in a shelter. We all walk in different shoes.”

(Marianne, age 17)

Each day for a month Marianne, 17, filled her backpack with a few personal belongings and stored them in her high school locker. Marianne had decided that she was not going to take the beating of her father’s fists anymore. Beatings as far back as her toddler years haunted Marianne. One morning she said good-bye to her father. He replied “good-bye, see you tonight.” but Marianne knew this was good-bye. She was not coming home tonight.

A school guidance counsellor determined that Marianne was essentially living out of her school locker and brought Marianne to the safety of Youth Without Shelter. Marianne’s life belongings from her locker were now in the bedroom she calls “home” at Youth Without Shelter.

At Youth Without Shelter Marianne was not alone, she had someone to talk to and someone who will listen to her fears, hopes and dreams. Together with her Case Manager they discussed her specific needs, created goals and a plan of action to achieve these goals. If you visited Marianne’s bedroom at YWS you would have seen these goals boldly spelled out on a list taped to her locker:

  1. Find a job.
  2. Find an apartment.
  3. Stay in school.
  4. Stop drinking.

How did Marianne do with checking off her list? With the support of the YWS Steps to Success Program she put together her resume and called employers from our job board. She stayed in school. Marianne’s case manager connected her with a support group for abuse survivors. Marianne also met with a housing program worker to review her housing options. Through the Housing Program Marianne connected with “Project Go Home” and reunited with her extended family.

A note arrived at YWS from Marianne: “I want you all to know….you mean a lot to me and you were my real and true family while I was in Canada. You never judged me, left me in my hard times…for which I really admire you! You guys make our days better and we need you.”

Note: While staying at YWS Marianne volunteered talents, sharing her photography skills. This story image is by Marianne, taken by the Humber River near YWS.

YWS 30th anniversary series: Tracy & Nichole

YWS 30th anniversary series: Tracy & Nichole

Former residents of YWS often reconnect through email sharing their stories, here are two voices from the past.

“I would first like to introduce myself as a former resident and a success story from your program. It was June 1987 when I was dropped off at your front door because my parents didn’t want me any more. With the help of your program in as little as 2 ½ weeks I was able to find housing, part-time employment and reenrolled in school.

Today I am a Registered Social Service Worker, Community Service Worker Instructor, happily married with four children and own my own home.”

– Tracy

“I was a teenager with a lot of issues. I was on the street and getting myself into some things that I know I shouldn’t have but at the time that was how I maintained my friends. I was 17 years old, alone in a city I wasn’t familiar with and had no idea where to turn. At 18 after spending many nights in YWS and other shelters, and in some cases outstaying my welcome I turned my life around. As a youth I didn’t finish high school and found that I was young, uneducated, and living at the poverty level. At the age of 21 I entered college and once completed I went to university. I am now 33 and a seasoned social worker. I have been working with individuals with developmental disabilities for 10 years and I enjoy every moment of it. I used to say that the workers at YWS were only there for the money but I now have the same feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that they had from helping teens and youth. Thank you all for being there, for guiding me and for letting me know that I was able to accomplish more than what I believed I could The work you guys do is incredible and you change more lives than you will every know.

– Nicole

YWS 30th anniversary series: Derek

YWS 30th anniversary series: Derek

I stayed at Youth Without Shelter when times were tough. It wasn’t just a place to stay…it was about what I could do to find my way. YWS gives you direction. There are many options, it takes time for all of us to find our way. I know it took me two years to decide to swallow my pride and go back to finish school. I now reside in BC and have worked at many jobs.

Thanks YWS for picking up the pieces when the chips were down, you were there! Thanks for making it a safe place to stay. Youth Without Shelter led me to start making changes in my life for a better future that I could look forward to. Remember, the future is not just tomorrow.

If I was there I would donate my time for this worthy cause. Thanks for all the help. Enclosed is a pic of me and my car! This is what I was able to do with a car after finding that whatever I try to do is possible. If you believe you can do something, you can! Thanks and I hope others can find what I found, only faster. The three most import things in life are: improvise, adapt and overcome. That’s how you succeed!

Derek, 2005

YWS 30th anniversary series: Misery

YWS 30th anniversary series: Misery

For as long as he can remember there was only his father and himself. There was always conflict. He is the first to admit that he didn’t want any rules. However, as he matured he saw his father behave in ways towards him that he knew were not right and that he could not respect.

He ran away from home for the first time at age ten. He ran away repeatedly in his early teens—sometimes spending the night on friend’s couches, many times just roaming the streets or keeping warm overnight in a local coffee shop. Home with his father was not where he could be. He managed to finish Grade 9 and 10. By the age of 16 he had truly left home and fallen in with, in his own words, the wrong crowd.

Not long after he sought shelter at Youth Without Shelter (YWS) for the first time. His approach with staff was argumentative. How could they be much different from his father? Staff asked him to consider what his next steps were going to be. Why not write his thoughts and dreams down in a journal, suggested a case manager. This idea stuck with him. To this day he continues to write in a journal wherever he is.

Each time he has appeared at the doors of YWS the case management team have worked step by step to connect him with the resources to enable him to make a move to independence. Each time he has moved out he hasn’t quite made it work. But then something unexpected happened that totally changed his life around—he became a father.

This time his stay at YWS is more long-term and focused. He has always “felt the staff here care—you can talk and they will listen.” From staff he is hearing: it’s time to make a change, if you want to be a father and have this child in your life. His case manager is making sure he stays on track. He has put together his resume in the Steps Program. His goal is to complete his high school education. He is working on his housing options with the housing coordinator. He is always busy helping around the shelter. The staff say he has become a positive mentor to the younger residents in the shelter.

In essence his story is what Youth Without Shelter is all about: ending homelessness, one youth at a time, one step at a time. We wanted to share with you a poem he wrote in his journal titled “Misery”.

Misery

(Author: YWS past resident)
I try to forget the pain.
But yet it remains.
Driven insane by madness.
I surround myself in total
darkness.
I am sad, unhappy and lifeless.
The girl that’s gone I truly do miss.
For she is the mother of my daughter.
And me the father that don’t exist.
My anger grows as I form a fist.
I take a swing, but did I miss.
Miss the fact that I’m still in love.
With the one that’s mention above.
I must be stupid to believe this.
To be with her is my only wish.
The girl I love, the girl I miss.
If only I can give her one kiss.
To prove how much I care.
How much I want to be near.
Close to her and in her heart.
The guy she with tears us further apart.
My heart is extremely broken.
I just want to be the one that’s chosen.

YWS 30th anniversary series: Angeline

YWS 30th anniversary series: Angeline

Sometimes I feel my mother never loved me.
Maybe she didn’t.
There’s nothing to suggest otherwise.
No early morning cuddles.
No kiss going out the door.
No warm embrace when I was at my lowest
No comforting voice to vanquish my nightmares.
But I do remember a hefty fist connecting with my tear stained cheeks and the words:
“Leave. Never come back.”
Broken and shaken
I was taken here
A place I felt was designed for the broken and shaken
Somewhere to leave us and forget us.
But maybe just maybe
We can change that and fix ourselves.
There’s plenty of evidence to suggest that just look at me.

Poem written by Angeline, March 2010.

YWS 30th anniversary series: Winona

YWS 30th anniversary series: Winona

Winona’s father punished her not only with words of anger but with angry fists.  Winona knew she had to leave home for her own survival.  She set aside money each week from her pay cheque but it was not enough to afford a place of her own.  The turning point was when Winona’s brother started to join her father in the physical assaults.  Winona arrived at Youth Without Shelter (YWS) feeling the whole world was against her.  Most of all Winona found it hard to believe that there were people who would want to help someone like her.

“I came to YWS as someone who was working but homeless. No one had any idea where I worked that I was homeless.  I arrived at work in professional clothes like everyone else.  I was very focused on getting a second job to save for first and last month rent.  Right away the morning routine at the shelter had a positive effect.  The 7 am wake-up got me to work on time! The Employment Facilitator really gave me confidence. Together we created the most professional resume.  Within weeks I landed that second job.

At YWS I did not feel disadvantaged, my morale was not broken, and I was never made to feel like I lived in a shelter.  The support prepared me to be on my own out there.  I even put on weight (loved the food).  YWS helped me focus and learn to listen.  What am I doing now?  Working with Laura, the Housing Coordinator I was able to move out to my own place.  I am sharing these words while back to visit the YWS Food Bank (really helps me stretch my monthly budget) and picking up an “On The Move Package” (wow:  sheets, towels, pots, even cleaning supplies to get me started).  My advice to youth in situations like mine:  be patient, stay focused on your goals, and don’t fight against those trying to help you.”

 Winona

YWS 30th anniversary series: Tom*

YWS 30th anniversary series: Tom*

*Name has been changed to maintain confidentiality.

At 14 years old, he was living with his alcoholic father.  In his father’s home he became a statistic, one of the 47% of homeless youth who report being physically abused by a family member.  By his fifteenth birthday, he had become a Crown Ward and entered the foster care system.  In one year he bounced between multiple foster care and group homes.  He acknowledges that he was angry (and a challenge) because in his heart he knew that he did not deserve his fate.  When he suffered abuse in a group home at sixteen, he checked himself out of care, and took to the streets.  He became one of the hidden homeless, bunking with friends, living in alleys and doorways.

A high school drop-out he drifted from job to job.  Wanting a place to call his own, he camped out in parks.  One evening after not having eaten for days, he was driven to steal food and he got into trouble with the law.  A court mandated rehabilitation period followed.  Upon his release with no other options he arrived at Youth Without Shelter (YWS).

His YWS Case Manager began to help him by simply listening.  As pieces of his story tumbled out she began to connect him with resources to restore his confidence.  Goals were set for each day.  Access to a gym was arranged so he could physically tackle the stresses in his life.  He was able to secure employment.  It was in a meeting with the Housing Workers that the possibility of finishing high school first arose.  School was not even on his list of goals.

Shortly after, he moved into the Stay in School Program and enrolled in an adult high school.  When completing a school assignment he wrote:  “Without Youth Without Shelter, I would not be typing this essay right now.  Instead I would probably be thinking of how to get my next meal of where I will sleep tonight.”  Wanting to give back (and to complete his community service hours required to graduate) he offered to paint a mural in the emergency residence family room.  Little did we know of his hidden artistic talent.  Today, a magnificent beach scene continues to welcome youth to YWS.  He is now a proud high school graduate, an achievement he never thought possible.  Congratulations.

August 2012:  YWS In Transition Newsletter

YWS 30th anniversary series: Mike

YWS 30th anniversary series: Mike

He desperately needed a place to stay, and more immediately food and a bed.  He was at a turning point in his life, having been homeless for much of his teen years, calling the street home, and in and out of shelters and jail.  A phone call brought him to Youth Without Shelter.

“You’ve given me hope.  Through the housing worker, Laura’s tremendous amount of help I have been able to secure housing.  Never having acquired housing before, the process seemed foreign and daunting.  I thought finding housing impossible after all my failed attempts.  Throughout my search at YWS I always had someone to go to with problems, someone to coach me for calls to landlords and to tell me all the right questions to ask. After living in shelters so long the concept of living on my own was kind of scary but knowing I’ll have on-going support once I’m on my own gives me the confidence I need to be successful.

For years I’ve been just credits away from completing high school, yet without the knowledge of how to get myself registered.  It has always seemed so far away.  Now with the help of my case worker, Emme I’ve obtained my high school credit transcript and will be beginning school at an adult learning centre.  Now I believe I may have a shot at the normal life, I’ve been dreaming of since my life started going downhill.

The programs at YWS are so helpful in building a productive life.  Daily we have workshops covering a huge range of subjects from housing and employment to hygiene and laundry.  Everything one needs to function taught in creative and fun ways to learn.  Another program taught is substance abuse which is amazingly helpful to those with abuse problems and has hook-ups with more in-depth counseling. Now the best program I’ve seen by far is being brought out for a night to Cirque du Soleil.  That had to be one of the funnest times of my life.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me.  And to all of you who contribute to Youth Without Shelter in any way I have no way to express my gratitude to you other than to say you do more than build lives you save them.” (Mike)

Where is Mike now?  In late September Mike moved out to his own place not far from the shelter.  He regularly checks in and shares his cooking adventures with the YWS Team.  Mike is working closely with the YWS Employment Facilitator to secure part-time employment.  He is back in the classroom finishing up high school.  Mike now has his sight set on getting to college to complete a Pre-Welding Certificate Apprenticeship Program.

November 2012

YWS 30th anniversary series: Jay

YWS 30th anniversary series: Jay

Walk through Jay’s elementary school and you will see his name front and center on the honour student recognition wall. Graduating into high school Jay felt tremendous pressure to continue to excel at school.  To relieve that pressure Jay began to self-harm by cutting himself. He hid the cuts on his arms and legs by wearing long sleeves and pants no matter the weather. Jay felt his family could not understand the pressure he was under. Conflict at home escalated. One day in Grade 11 Jay packed up his clothes, left home and sought shelter at Youth Without Shelter (YWS).

When Jay met his YWS Case Manager she encouraged him to talk.  She did not judge or criticize, she listened.  Jay recalls he felt for the first time his feelings were being “respected”. He continued to attend school everyday although he found it increasingly hard to concentrate and his grades were plummeting.  As the trust developed between Jay and the Case Manager she asked him to meet with one of the shelter’s partners, an agency that specializes in youth mental health. In time Jay was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.

Jay’s journey has not been an easy one. He has had periods of family reconciliation, hospitalization, new health challenges and adjusting to medication. Jay has been living in his own place now for more than two years.  Through it all he has maintained ties to YWS, calling the shelter his “safe haven.”

Jay’s story is an example of how your support is changing lives every day here at YWS. Thanks to you, Jay has a “safe haven” to turn to as he moves forward. Jay credits YWS with teaching him how to budget, so he can maintain independent living.  He attends Supper Club at YWS to enjoy a hot meal, have a chat and access the on-site food bank.  Jay has enrolled in a college photography program. He aspires to open a business designing custom skateboards.  On a recent visit to YWS Jay shared: “I have two numbers on speed dial on my phone: 911 and you, YWS. Youth Without Shelter is #1: 416.748.0110.”

YWS 30th anniversary series: He

YWS 30th anniversary series: He

The first time he had ever slept in a bed was at Youth Without Shelter.  His life began thousands of miles from Etobicoke.  His mom died giving birth to his sister.  He tried to live with his new step-mother but she wanted no part of him in her family.  For his safety he ran away.  Home became a covered space under a bridge.  Meals were scavenged out of garbage cans. From the age of 12 he lived on the streets of an African country where half the population exist below the international poverty line.  He made a living by scouring the streets for bottles to return.  He did have dreams.  He loved to learn but he knew he had no future on the street.  Gradually, he saved his money from the bottles.  He even sold the last connection to his mother:  four cattle.  At age 17 he had saved enough for an airplane ticket to Canada.

The Red Cross brought him to the safety of Youth Without Shelter.  Yes, he knew English but spoke little those first weeks.  Rarely did he smile.  He kept his room immaculate.  Treasured sleeping in a bed rather than on the pavement.  In his short life he had never experienced a living space of his own.  By quietly listening the YWS Case Manager began to build a relationship with him.  She empathized with his fortitude.  She remembered how it felt to arrive in Canada alone at a young age, far from her home, with no family and friends.

A circle of care surrounded him at Youth Without Shelter. The housing coordinator connected him to immigration resources so that was able to secure school and work permits.  His case manager recognizing his desire to learn, helped him enroll in an English literacy class.  She introduced him to a volunteer position where he could practice his English.  Slowly he began to open up.  Together they identified his goals.  He wanted to finish high school.

He moved out of the emergency residence into the Stay in School Program and enrolled in high school.  School was a struggle.  He had many gaps in his education.  Volunteer tutors helped him catch up.

Upon graduating high school he moved out of YWS and headed west for permanent work in the hospitality industry.  He now manages a coffee beverage café. Two years ago he used his vacation time to come back to Toronto and speak at the YWS Annual General Meeting. “You helped me when I needed help and became my family when I had no family.  I would not be the adult I’m today if it wasn’t for the support YWS gave me.  Thank you for taking time to look beyond my struggles and mistakes.”